Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Frozen and the "Gay Agenda"

I watched "Frozen" for the first time last week.

Kinda loved it. And by "kinda," I mean "totally."

My boys liked it too. My daughter? Totally enamored with it. She likes to perform "Elsa's song" in the bathtub where she can splash around to "freeze" things.  She's wavered between being Elsa, Ana, and just "Kawis" since watching it. 

For the record -- I would TOTALLY choose Ana. Just sayin'.


I read the whole OMGTHEMOVIEISTOTESABOUTTHEGAYS!!!111! post before actually seeing the movie. Read the post with my one eyebrow cocked and forehead wrinkled that causes my daughter to ask, "whassssa matta?" 

After actually seeing the movie, I have one eyebrow cocked and my forehead wrinkled and I'm all, "DUBS TEE EFF?!?"

Here's the thing. You can believe what you want to believe. I may not agree with it. I may side eye it. I might roll my eyes at you. 


But, but, but. 

But! Please don't take a "girl power!" movie from my daughter. Don't take it from her!  She deserves better. 

My daughter deserves to know that female/ female relationships are just as strong as female/ male relationships. 
My daughter deserves to know that the bond of sisterly love ... it IS true love. 
My daughter deserves to know that she is not defined by a man or the "promise" of true love. 
She deserves all that!

What she doesn't deserve?

She doesn't deserve some asshole perched on the bible preaching about how she needs a man to complete her.  She doesn't deserve for people to accuse Disney of having a "pro-gay marriage agenda" just because they make a movie where the princess doesn't ride off into the sunset for her Happily Ever After with some Manly Man she's known all of two hours.  (And, for the record, if Disney does have a pro-gay marriage agenda?  Good for them.  But it's not present in Frozen or Let It Go.  It's just not.)

The movie is beautiful. It's about unconditional love.  It's about the love between sisters.  It's about overcoming fears.  And, for once, it's not centered around Him + Her + LUV4EVA. 

Can we please not take that away from our little girls?  Please?

Monday, March 24, 2014

Double J Smokehouse and Saloon

Stop the presses y'all!  I've found the best fried pickles in Memphis.

The best fried pickles in Memphis.

That says a lot.  A lot.

When Casey got into town a couple weeks ago, we had a little time before meeting D and her friend Keith.  A friend of mine suggested we meet him over at Double J Smokehouse and Saloon.  So glad he did.  I have a new Memphis favorite!

We were planning to eat at Rendezvous later so we didn't want to eat too much.  But, of course, there were fried pickles on the menu so I HAD to have those.  Casey ordered the chicken strip basket.

The fried pickles.  YOU GUYS.  They were so good!  They weren't too greasy (the issue I often have with fried pickles) and they came with this super delicious house-made chipotle ranch.  If there's anything I love more than an order of fried pickles, it's some chipotle ranch to dip 'em in. 

Your mouth is watering.
Try to tell me it's not.
I didn't get a picture of the chicken strips but they were also really, really good.  A couple regulars at the bar told us to try the "Memphis Gold" sauce to dip them in and they didn't steer us wrong.  It was an amazing barbecue sauce and the bar tender was nice enough to give us extra to take home (and it ended up sitting in the cup holders in my car for the duration of the NOLA trip . . . womp womp woooomp.)

We only tried appetizer type food but we loved what we had.  The friend we met eats there a lot and assured us that everything they serve is really good.  And, I'll put it this way: they had a smoker out back.  You can't really go wrong with that.

It was around 4:00 in the afternoon so the place was pretty dead and we sat at the bar.  The bartender was nice though a little disorganized.  I appreciated the "ambience" of the place -- the total saloon type, very laid back feel -- it had to it.  There are two floors and bars both up and downstairs and, apparently, things can really get going after 9:00.  They also bring in live music.

I'm going back for sure.

For the fried pickles, obviously.

Friday, March 21, 2014

New Orleans: The Rest of the Story

I know I've kind of half assed my posts about my trip.  This week, though, has totally kicked my ass.  Sick kids and appointments and field trips and now I'm starting to get whatever crud they've been passing around.  "Crud" that I thought was just spring allergies.  HAPPY SPRING, Y'ALL! 

Anyway.  New Orleans.  Can I go back?  Like, today?

A little more about our trip:

Becky, Mo, and I loved Acme Oyster House so much that, even though we'd eaten there the night before, we knew we had to "brunch" there on Sunday as well.  I ordered a dozen of the chargrilled oysters AND an order of Boo fries because my eyes were bigger than my stomach.  Totes delicious.

After our meal, we wandered around the French Market, bought drinks from the Organic Banana (yum!), and cupcakes from the Cupcake Fairy (not so yum!)

Dinner on the patio at Pat O's has become our Sunday night NOLA tradition.  We made our way over there this year to throw down on some hurricanes and fried alligator and all kinds of other yumminess.  Pat O's is a total tourist place.  Not gonna lie.  I'm sure you'll find better food all over New Orleans.  But the food is still delicious and we love the ambience of it all.

After Pat O's, it was our last drinks of the trip.  SAD FACE.  Sunday night is just . . . it's just sad!  On the one hand, we still have that night to have ALL THE FUN and ALL THE DRINKS (though some of us knew we had a several hour drive the next day . . . ) but, on the other hand, IT'S THE VERY LAST NIGHT.  Bring on the sad faces.  Or drink faces . . .

Mo's birthday was Monday so we got the party started once the clock struck midnight.

And by "got the party started," I mean we stuck a candle in a beignet, sang Happy Birthday, and then all went to bed.  We party hard, yo!

And that was our trip in a nutshell!

It was so much fun, one of my favorite trips ever.  I love these girls.  I love the connection we have and the fun we have when we're together.  For the rest of my life, I'll think of this trip and think about things like "they can't even drive a plane!" and "can you just play the song?  I've never heard it but I know you're not doing it any justice" and Sylvia and Violet and rugby players, fairy princesses and Lynyrd Skynyrd's Simple Man.

Here's to the good times!

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Then There Was Saturday

When you're on the downhill slide to your mid-30's -- and the previous night you were in bed eating Pringles at midnight -- you're really proud of yourself when you can basically pull an all nighter.  Then it's 9:00 the next morning and you're all, "Um, what?  What did I DO?"



The day ended amazing.  And it definitely started out amazing.

Our friend Bri lives in the New Orleans area and she arranged for our girl Mo to come in and surprise us.  Rella and I were waiting outside for Bri when she pulled up and when we realized Mo was in the passenger seat . . . holy waterworks!  The other girls were in the house and said it sounded like a concert (cause we were screaming and carrying on!)  We were the tiniest bit excited!

We started the day off with brunch at The Ruby Slipper then headed over to Bourbon Street for some Fat Tuesday's!

There are a lot of good things about New Orleans.  Slushy drinks are definitely one of those good things.  Tip, though: DO NOT GO WITH THE CRAWGATOR.  I mean, I totally drank the whole thing since I paid for it and it's a cardinal Whore Island sin to waste alcohol.  But, furreal, a Crawgator will never again touch these lips.

Some of the girls spent the later part of the afternoon on a walking tour of some haunted spots.  I wandered around the French Quarter then went back to the house to . . . take a nap.  I KNOW!  Later, we all met up at Acme Oyster House.

After THE ABSOLUTE BEST OYSTERS EVER KNOWN TO MAN, it was back to Bourbon Street.  Again.

One of my favorite things about Bourbon is that you never know what you're going to see.  It's always . . . interesting.  Always. 

On this particular night, we ran into a rugby team from Dallas.  They were all born in the 90's.  And they were all dressed in drag.

I was a fan of this guy!
They were fun and funny.
And one of them MIGHT have stuck his tongue down a throat and grabbed a boob.  And got a phone number.  I'm just sayin'.
** We told these guys we were Jewish (#becauseSYLVIAANDVIOLET) and one of them yelled, "You killed my Savior!"  I will El Oh El about that for the rest of my days.  True story.
We were trying to get off Bourbon when we wandered into a gay bar.
I love gay bars.
Especially when they play Simple Man.  We all shared a moment and sang the song together.  Lynyrd Skynyrd has always made me think of my dad.  But now I know that when I hear Simple Man, I'll think of Mari and Bri and Kira and that night in NOLA when we all belted out, "be a siiiiiiimple kiiiiiiind of maaaaaan."
We met fun people and one of the guys told us his fag hag preferred to be called a "fairy princess."  Seriously?  Rugby players in drag and fairy princesses?  Does a night get any better?
We finally made it back to the house around 4:00.  Then sat up and talked for another couple hours. 
I was feeling in the next morning but you know what?
Totally worth it.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

That Friday Night

I'm not a big fan of "first we did this and then we did this" type of blog posts.  But you know what?  Sometimes it works.

Now is one of those times.

So here goes.


Casey and Dahlia arrived in Memphis Thursday afternoon (more about that - and what we ate! - in another post.)  We were up and on the road by 5:30 Friday morning.


The road trip is half the fun, y'all.  At least on the way there.  Going home the road trip sucks.  Balls.  Donkey balls 

Anyway, we had fun!  But we were ready for a drink or five and a ton of Jello shots by the time we made it to New Orleans.

That Fireball whiskey whispers . . .
We hadn't seen each other in months - MONTHS! - so our first hours in NOLA were spent laying around, talking, catching up, and just being glad we were all together again. 

Then it was on to an early dinner at Frank's after which we made our way down to Bourbon Street.

We tried the Hand Grenades from Tropical Isle the first trip to NOLA and didn't really enjoy them.  D decided we needed to try them again.  And you know what?  Two thumbs DOWN.  Again.  Yeah.  If I want a "New Orleans famous" drink then I'll stick with a Slurricane . . . I mean a Hurricane . . . thanks ya very much.

Mango Mango.

We always end up there.  We always swear we will not.

This year most of stayed away from the test tube shots (nothing good comes from a test tube!) and lived to tell about things the next morning.  Some of us indulged in said test tube shots (nothing good comes from a test tube!) and spent Saturday morning feeling like death.  Thankfully, I stayed away from those test tube shots (nothing good comes from . . . you get it.)

A few of us left Mango Mango early and began our walk back to the house.

We stopped in at Cafe DuMonde along the way and this is where Sylvia and Violet were born.

Sylvia is an older Jewish woman who lives in Queens and has chain smoked for the past forty or so years.  Violet is her sidekick.  You would have to be us to understand it.  But it was funny and the next morning, Sylvia and I could hardly talk (damn chain smoking!) (I'm sure the other girls were pleased at our self-induced laryngitis.)

Now, you know you're getting old when your New Orleans personality is a 60-ish year old woman rather than Blanca, the saucy Brazilian you've emulated in the past.  But do you know how you know you're getting REALLY old?

When you're in New Orleans.
And in bed before midnight.
Eating Pringles.
And talking about Morty Steinbrenner.
In the voice of 60-ish year old Jewish woman.

Pretty sure double fisting had a thing or two to do with the birth of Violet!

And THAT was our Friday.

I planned to write about all three days in one post but my laptop is being an asshole and I've done enough pictures in one post.  So this'll have to do for now.

Up next: Rugby players dressed in drag and fairy princesses!