Thursday, March 9, 2017

The $43 Lasagna

I'm not entirely unconvinced that the mission of my children's school is to separate me from my money.  It is constantly something.  $50 yearbooks, $36 field trips, this class picture, that class picture, donate for our Gym Jam!, we're raising money for St. Jude, can you sign up for this?  All that (and that's a very short list) multiplied by four kids.  Ahhhhh.

About a month ago, I got an email asking me to sign up to bring a meal for teacher appreciation week.  Okay, sure, no problem there.  I adore my kids' teachers and, let's face it, they put up with them five days a week.  They deserve more than just a meal.

Then I opened the email and realized that not only did they want me supply a meal but they wanted to tell me the exact recipe to use for the pie.  Like . . . really?  I have to use THIS exact recipe?  What're you trying to say is wrong with my grandma's chocolate pie, Lynn from the PTSA?!?  The only option other than the pie was lasagna which, frankly, is pretty not cheap to make.  I decided to put on my big girl panties and say no for once, to opt out.

Then, a few days later, another email.  They needed 120 dinners and only, like, 50 people had signed up to bring anything.  I decided it was for the good of the teachers and let the school, once again, come between me and my bank account.  I signed up to bring a lasagna.

It had to be brought to school by 2:30 on Wednesday which was going to be tricky enough on my schedule then I decided to do Taco Tuesday which meant my lasagna had to be made either Tuesday afternoon or Tuesday night when I was hopped up on margaritas and cheap tacos.  Tuesday afternoon won out and, since I'm a procrastinator, I went that very day after class to buy my supplies.

Did you know throw-away pans at Kroger are $3.99?  We can't have that. I won't pay it.  So I left them with their thow-away pan, spent $30 on supplies to make the damn lasagna, and headed to Dollar Tree.

Only . . .

I didn't have any cash.  I'd have to use my debit card.  I couldn't put just a dollar on my card so I also picked up some hair elastics, another brush for the girls to lose, a couple more miscellaneous things.  I spent $5.83 in order to avoid paying $3.99.  I'm so smart.  This brought the cost of my lasagna up to $35.

I procrastinated around about starting it.  Paid bills, started my taxes, made every bed in the house, that kind of thing.  I finally got around to it, pulled out all the supplies I just bought.  And realized I bought sour cream rather than Ricotta cheese.  SERIOUSLY?!?

Back to Kroger where my lasagna ended up costing $43 because Ricotta is $3 and the Rita's I needed to further get through the venture were two for $5. 

I spent $43 to make a lasagna.  That I won't even eat. 

$43.

And I just have visions of it going home with the 25-year-old single teacher who'll eat one slice, throw the rest in her fridge, and forget about it until she begins to smell something funky in the back of her refrigerator. 

Moral of the story: Don't give the PTSA your email address.

Thank me later.

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